Goodbyes

No matter how you try your hardest to prepare to leave your babies... it is still the hardest thing ever.

I knew before I even had her that I would only have 6 weeks at home with her and TJ then I would be headed back to work. With the holidays it just made it speed by even quicker. I loved being home during the holidays but with all the activities, parties, and traveling it didn't slow down time.

I had my follow up appointment with my OB Dr yesterday and was released to go back to work yesterday. After I left that appointment I took Anna to my parents house. I had dropped TJ off there earlier so I wouldn't have to take him to the doctor's office.

I was a ball of mixed emotions the night before and all day yesterday. It was hard to smile and be cheerful. Happy to get back to a normal routine but sad to be leaving my babies. Leaving them with my mom makes it so much easier because I can call my mom as much as I need to and can check on them.

I had lunch over at her house then it was time for goodbyes. I gave Anna lots of kisses and told TJ to give me hugs and kisses. He gave them with no hesitation. **Lump in my throat** TJ kept saying "bye bye Mommy" then when I was walking out the door I heard him ask my mom, "where my mommy doe?" my mom answered, "she is going to work" TJ, "ooohhhh, my mommy word" in a very sad voice. I shut the door so fast.

I did good, I didn't cry just had that stupid lump in my throat the rest of the day. And I kept my calls limited to break time.

Today was my first full day back at work. I'm glad I had a short day yesterday, it made today easier. I said my goodbyes this morning. The lump was gone. TJ still yelled "Bye bye Mommy" a million times but today it just made me smile.

I hate that I can't be with them every day but I am so happy that they get to spend every day with my mommy.

Now one more day this week then I get two FULL days with them!!!! Can't wait!

Beauty

Sitting here looking at my little girl. I started thinking about her future...

I was just looking at her features and saw such beauty. She has pretty lips, pretty eyes, beautiful skin, perfect nose, she has all the best features of Tim and I.

I am already praying for her husband and for her future. Some may think I'm crazy, but it is my job as her parent to pray for her. No one can pray for her like I can, just like no one can love her like me.

I pray he loves God more than he loves her, I pray he respects her, I pray he has passion and is driven, I pray he loves her unconditionally, I pray he holds her when she is hurting, I pray that he isn't the one to hurt her, I pray he loves her for her, I pray she learns from Tim and I about marriage and how you treat each other. Oh the list goes on and on.

I do know that her beauty on the outside is NOTHING if she doesn't have beauty on the inside. I also pray she becomes a passionate woman of God. That she lays down her plans for her life and takes up His with all her being. I pray we do everything we are suppose to do in order to teach her and to help her become who she is destined to be.

Can't wait to teach her to pray, to sing, to worship, and to seek His face at all times.

Anyways, I was just sitting here looking at her and wanted to share my thoughts.

Sleeping

Many moms struggle with getting their infants to sleep on there own, to sleep in a bed or cradle and not in their arms.

When TJ was born I was so terrified that I was the one that would do something to harm TJ. He was given so many words while in my stomach that I knew God would protect him but I was just so scared that I would hurt him. That I would fall asleep while holding him, that I would roll over on him and so on. When he would wake up to eat in the middle of the night I would quickly get up, feed him, burp him, then immediately lay him down. I would not cuddle with him in the middle of the night of fear I might get to comfortable and fall asleep too.

The benefit of being scared like this was he learned very quickly to go to sleep on his own. If he cried I wouldn't pick him up. I would sit on the edge of the bed and rock the cradle with my foot. Now he is almost three years old and has no problem going to sleep. He actually loves his bed. Now I'm not saying we have never had any problems. He on occasion will have a hard time getting to sleep, for example if people are over here and making lots of noises or he didn't get calmed down before we started our nightly routine.
 Now I find myself trying to duplicate my results with my second child. The fear isn't there which makes it so much harder. When she would cry I would want to get her to be quiet quickly so she wouldn't wake up TJ or other people in the house. I would have to fight myself to keep her in her bed. I would have to do anything to calm her down without picking her up. Pat her back, pat her bottom, pacy, wrap her blanket around her and so on. I had to learn her signs of what she needs, if its gas, if she is hungry or just fighting sleep.

The main thing I have learned is routine. Doing the same routine every night does wonders for a baby. If I would pat her I would start out with a nice good pat and then after she would calm down I would make my pat less and less stronger and eventually stop the patting. I would stand there and make sure she wouldn't start up again and if she did I would start the patting over again.

Anna is officially sleep trained. She can be awake and when I lay her down she can fall asleep on her own. This is key to get her to sleep longer. If she wakes up and isn't necessarily hungry she will fall back asleep on her own.

Some moms love to rock their babies to sleep, I love rocking mine to sleep also but needing to go back to work I can't do that every night. I can't spend how ever long in the middle of the night getting them back to sleep. And since my mom watches my kids I can't expect her to rock them to sleep. She needs to be able to lay them down and them go to sleep so she can get other things done.

This is how I trained my kids to sleep on their own and I'm glad I started this when they first came home, even if the first time it was by accident.

I hope my experiences can help someone. Happy sleeping, means happy babies.